Saturday, February 10, 2007

59 hours

It’s midnight as I write this. This has been just one of those days. After posting this morning, I got a rare burst of some sort of strength and made a phone call to the county. It’s interesting, because what I was told today was the exact same thing I was told a few years ago when I called asking how I go about getting my non-identifying information. I was told just write a letter. Okie dokie, I can do that.

So I did. And received this in return:

"In order for this Court to act upon your request you must file with the Clerk of the Orphans' Court a verified Petition and proposed Decree which complies with the State and County Orphans' Court Rules of Procedure.”


That’s it. Now friends, if your hard drive up and dies on you, I can help. If your computer is infected with some bizarre virus or Trojan or adware, I can help. If you need to configure your Outlook to automatically process meeting notices and at the same time send a special reply to certain people under specified conditions and run a macro to update a Word document, I can do that.


What I can’t do is file with the Clerk of Court a verified Petition and proposed Decree which complies with the State and County Rules of Procedure asking for my non-id ‘cause, gee, I have this bizarre vascular disorder, my son has the same bizarre vascular disorder, and we’d really like to know if anyone else in our family has this same bizarre vascular disorder, because I’m not a lawyer.

But I can find one who can.

And I did. All on my onesies. And 59 hours from now I’m speaking with her.

D’ya think I’ll get any sleep between now and then? Probably not.

You might say I could do this on my own. And you might be right. But can do something on my own and actually do it are mutually exclusive entities when it comes to me. I know myself way too well. I know what happens when I send something adoption search related off in the mail. I know the expectations I set up for myself, and I know my reaction when something I want doesn’t go my way.

59 hours from now, I may be one well-represented step closer to knowing my nationality.

Damn.

So, what am I going to do in the interim? Well, we have a rare child-free weekend going on here. So unrepentant and proud geek nerds that we are, my cool husband and I are watching every single movie ever made about my two favorite adoptees from long, long ago in a galaxy far, far away. And you know friends, let’s all be grateful for closed adoption records in Tatooine and Alderaan. If they were open records, well shit, that story would have been over before the first movie was ever made.

15 complaints from ingrates:

chez February 10, 2007 at 12:50 AM  

Hey gorgeous girl - pull up a chair - and come sit by me!!!
I have a few refreshments, copious amounts of chocolate - and hugs a plenty if you need them.
We'll just call ourselves the 'Waiting Gang' - I think 'gang' sounds more hip than just a 'club' really - don't you??!!
Kudos for taking a step closer.
(Chez = procrastinator from hell!!!)
Big hugs coming your way, C. xxx

Ungrateful Little Bastard February 10, 2007 at 1:06 AM  

You ain't sleeping either C? I'll be by soon. Am making my rounds ;)

AMYADOPTEE February 10, 2007 at 2:11 AM  

Waiting??? Been doing that for over a year... Now lately all I feel is some serious sarcasm. I can get the Carolyn's Irish Cream out with some chocolate icecream.

3rd generation adoption February 10, 2007 at 2:40 AM  

Tell us more about your search. I located my family in 1984 - after three years of searching but only with the help of adoptee support groups, one wonderful human being named Sarah Crystal who took the time to help me when she was visiting the vital records at the state capitol in CA. Two tiny bits of information made a breakthrough in my search (my mother's maiden name on a birth registry and a marriage record that turned out to be her mother's remarriage in the same county) and I spent the next 2.5 years searching through phone books, begging police friends of mine for help and not sleeping much. My point, is tell us more and maybe we can help. The Internet doesn't help if all the records are sealed or closed. But there are ways around it if we rally together and put all of us on some of these searches. I'm reading the book - The Tipping Point - by Malcolm Gladwell and that is what all of us adoptees need to do - Rally together and create a tidal wave, a hurricane and thus "a tipping point" for adoption so that these naiive legislators will get off their fat lazy butts and make change that matters.....sorry for the rant.

I mean this, let's help each other out with real stuff. You'd be surprised what we can do to make these changes. By blogging all of this, we are building the nucleus of something very wonderful that has never been done before. We can say things in cyberspace that noone has ever had the guts nor the avenue to do in the past. We have everything we need to make the change, so let's Get R Done!

momseekingpeace February 10, 2007 at 3:08 AM  

I always wish the moms would find their sons and daughters.

I am excited to hear how this goes for you, third generation is right, things are changing.
MSP

FauxClaud February 10, 2007 at 10:37 AM  

Isn't it amazing how when someone tells you what you cannot do, it can make you just that much more determined to do whatever it is?? Good for you for not acceoting their sad decree.

And then, I just have to add..as a StarWars freak...OH, YEAH...I have often sat and deeply thought about the age old messages of good vs evil, redemption and the dark side, and what my personal god, Mr Lucas, would say really about open records if he knew....

You know..if we only REALLY had the force...then it would be alot easier to find families...

suz February 10, 2007 at 11:01 AM  

love your blog. good luck with your next steps.

BethGo February 10, 2007 at 2:14 PM  

Whoo hoo!!!
Good for you!
I'm going to recommend a book to you:
BirthRight: The Guide to Search and Reunion by Jean Strauss.
It really helped me in all aspects of this stuff.
If you don't have it, get it. It's a great resource.
Good Luck.

LeRoy Dissing February 10, 2007 at 6:38 PM  

I am hoping for good news next week on your blog. Every state has a different process, if they have one at all. Best wishes and keep up posted - please!

Rebecca February 10, 2007 at 8:24 PM  

Theresa, Way to go for getting things done! I'm so proud of you for sticking your neck out there. Hope all goes well. Best wishes, Rebecca

Erika February 10, 2007 at 9:50 PM  

kid free wkd? woohoooo..live it up gurl..

btw, what are the rules to apply for your non-id? is it like something to do with medical information.
star wars, mom dies of a broken heart and dad is evil. kids get separated and adopted for their own safety. if only those were the only reason for adoptions..and even luke and leigha get to reunite in the end...

Ungrateful Little Bastard February 11, 2007 at 12:33 PM  

Wow such a response! Thank you all so much for your support. As you all know, next week will most likely be a rollercoaster

John that book is very interesting. I’m ordering it for myself and for my husband, who is extremely concerned with creating awareness and change in public education. And Beth thank you for the recommendation. I’ve ordered both books and will add them onto my book list.

As far as the ‘rules’ in my county for non-id, until I have my appointment tomorrow I won’t know much. All I know are rumors and postings from the internet. From what I’ve heard, the judge in the county is a very ‘by the books’ type person. Being a ‘by the books’ type person in my own line of business I can’t judge him (no pun intended) for that. I’ve heard he wants the request to be in a certain format. His court, his rules. If I wanna get what I want, all I can do is comply.

Each county in PA is different. Sue’s list of county by county response is here for those interested.

http://rombergers.tripod.com/linkbylink.html

Mom2One February 11, 2007 at 5:26 PM  

Theresa,

I really know nothing about searching so excuse my ignorance. All I know is that here in Ohio, there's an Adoption Network Cleveland and they have a search center or some such thing -- wondering if there's some kind of organization like that in PA that would help you search -- ???

If that's way off base, just let me add my support here.

~ Who goes by the other name of
Judy or
Snarky Librarian ;)

Third Mom February 11, 2007 at 6:28 PM  

You go girl, I'm rootin' for you!

Ungrateful Little Bastard February 11, 2007 at 7:41 PM  

Judy you couldn't be off base if you tried. What Pennsylvania does have is a riot. Get this. As an adoptee, you fill out a form and send a check for $10.00 to the state to see if your first parents have filed contact information. If they haven't, the state doesn't contact you. Now, if your first parents happen to file contact information AFTER you've sent your ten bucks - think the state will keep your info on file and contact you? HAHA, think again, schmuck! You gotta pay them $10 a search every few years or so to keep looking. Don't ya love it!

Thanks for rooting, Third Mom!

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