Monday, February 12, 2007

Minus 6 Hours

So, it was amazing. Got all my info at 11, called my first mom at 11:15 and we had lunch at noon. We’re going shopping this weekend. All is cool.

Nah, not that easy.

But progress at least. Very nice lawyer whom I did not need to retain, at least not yet. She did verify the somewhat trickiness of the two forms required, and gave me a name at the County to call. I verified this with the PAFind mailing list.

I spoke with the Orphan’s Court representative, another very nice woman, and she directed me to the official format over at She wanted to know if I was looking for my identifying or non-identifying information. I told her it was just non-identifying at this point, and she gave me a much needed kick in the ass to file the identifying request too. Thank you very much, kind lady on the phone, who sensed what a yellow bellied fraidy cat I am and the push I needed.

So… updated official Waivers of Confidentiality filed with the State and Couty – check

Petition for Identifying Info notarized and mailed – check

Petition for Non-Identifying Info notarized and mailed – check

Request for Decree of Adoption notarized and mailed - check

Now I wait. Rumor has it the wait could be six months… time will tell.

So what to do in during the next six months? Why, make fun of more adoption news reporting, that’s what!

Alabama Adoptees: She Doesn’t Want To Talk To You! Get Over It Already!

More warnings to the ungrateful from the state adoption department and the gramatically incorrect A Angel Adoptions agency. Scary stuff of searching adoptees on a rampage wreaking havoc!

Read this little ditty over, though, and you do the math.

The article warns that many first moms don’t want contact. Let’s break down the numbers, shall we?

700 searchers go to the state’s adoption search bureau. The agent is able to assist with 60% of the cases. OK, that’s 420 first moms found. Out of that 420, 15% do not wish contact. So that means 63. But that also leaves 357 who did want contact.

There are a few other special and invalidating tidbits in this article as well Bottom line to adoptees in Alabama considering the reunion dance: Move along. Nothing to see here. EXCEPT THE 85% OF FIRST MOMS WHO WANT TO MEET!

This irks me to no end. As if being rejected at the end of a search isn't something that's always a fear. As if this isn't a situation we are all well aware of. As if we need media fear mongering and the voices of the adoption industry reminding us the glass is 15% empty.

14 complaints from ingrates:

Possum February 12, 2007 at 7:07 PM  

woo hoo hoo - you've made some more moves - and - as yet - you didn't turn into dust!!! You go girl!!! LOL
Sending you big hugs Miss T.
Hugs, C. xx

Amyadoptee February 13, 2007 at 10:32 AM  

You have to remember that is only one search group. I am sure they also did something to screw up those relationships too. If you can avoid it don't use a CI. I don't recommend it. I hear Alabama does not keep the numbers too. Its funny reading the article an adoptee still has to ask the states permission to get their records. They have to talk to this woman just so that she make sure that you are mentally healthy enough to get your records. You can't be iffy with her

Anonymous,  February 13, 2007 at 12:30 PM  

Oh my. Go to the teacher and if you put your request in the proper form and say "pretty please," then maybe, just maybe you'll go to the head of the class and you'll be permitted contact with your birth parents.

Exactly what I thought, Theresa -- hey, only 15% said they didn't want contact -- that's a low percentage. Why are they painting this so bleakly? Ahhhh, gotta love that agency and the media just going right along with it, hook, line and sinker!

What people who want records open need is some kind of media expose, a big deal one along the lines of 20/20 or Dateline or something like that. Investigative reporting thing, full of facts and statistics and such. Bigtime, something that would expose the pro-closed records folks and their true motivations.

Anyways . . . . you always have such good stuff, Theresa. Good stuff. I've got to join Bastard Nation. Can I just be an honorary bastard or something? ;)

Unknown February 13, 2007 at 11:18 PM  

congrats on getting all your paperwork filed. I know how gut wrenching that can be. i think adoption is far too much about waiting. jeeze man..

im stark raving mad about the constant myth that first mothers dont want contact. i hope someday real soon we will finally be given a real voice.

Anonymous,  February 14, 2007 at 7:11 AM  

Comment to mom2one...

We teachers - and hopeful administrative types are not moved by pretty pleases.

We know that deep down you are all ungrateful little bastards.

With tongue in cheek..
Teacher/hopeful administrativetypehubbyof "THE"trueungratefullittlebastard

(she doesn't even heap me with accolades for reading the OL version of the live rants I get often) :)

Possum February 14, 2007 at 5:35 PM  

'Teacher/hopeful administrativetypehubbyof "THE"trueungratefullittlebastard'

hee hee - your hubby makes me smile Teresa!!!!! I like a hubby with a good warped sense of humor!!!!
(how else would they survive with us ungrateful little bastards?????)
Hugs, C. xx

Lizard February 14, 2007 at 9:44 PM  

Do keep making fun of adoption news reporting - that'll help pass the time and amuse the rest of us as well! I've always relied on my caustic sense of humor to get me through whatever. Ah, aren't we ungrateful little bastards, though!

Rebecca February 15, 2007 at 2:32 PM  

Theresa, I'm so proud of you for filling out the paperwork and getting the ball rolling so to speak. That article is disturbing to say the least. I hope that the times flies by and you get your info in no time. Hugs, Rebecca

Doughnut February 15, 2007 at 10:51 PM  

Keep us updated Theresa on what you find out - please! I am glad you got it all filed.

And the articles just keep rolling off the presses. I just saw another one that said: Adoptive Parents Get High Marks
Study: adoptive parents invest more in their children than biological parents....

I think it is some kind of propoganda for adoptive parents. I wonder who actually funds these things???? I always say: follow the money.

Doughnut February 15, 2007 at 10:51 PM  

BTW: Hope your cold gets better soon Theresa. Mine is going on four weeks!

Ungrateful Little Bastard February 16, 2007 at 2:27 PM  

Wow thank you everybody, very very much.

I typed a whole thing of individual comments, and then of course lost them, because I'm still not feeling 100%, but just thanks

Anonymous,  February 16, 2007 at 3:50 PM  

Theresa! I hope you feel better soon. I'm so glad to see that you have a snarky husband. This is very good.

Anonymous,  February 16, 2007 at 6:17 PM  

Just found this blog! Love it. I am a recently reunited adoptee and loving every minute of it! My information (Non-ID only) took 7 months to get to me plus I had to pay the Adoption Agency $100.00 for it. Once I got it I found both my biological parents within 24 hours.

Amyadoptee has some good advice about not using a CI. In my experience had a CI contacted my parents I it would have flipped them out.

Good luck and keep us posted.

Ungrateful Little Bastard February 18, 2007 at 8:52 PM  

Thanks Judy. I'm feeling a little better each day, but still get tired easy. The house is a disaster area and my son is coming late tonight for the week, so it's hard to get everything done. The snarky husband helps, but he doesn't do things MY way!

I've heard of waits that long Anon. I know family courts are backed up, but does it really take THAT long? What a wait it must have been for you.

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