Monday, February 19, 2007

Oh my god

There is a particularly powerful (as always) post over at Writing My Wrongs about adoptees being given back to an agency or the state because they are ungrateful enough to be either sick, failed to save a troubled marriage as was their purpose, or just plain not really wanted in the first place after a-dad up and dies.

The one about not really being wanted in the first place really got to me. My cool husband got a Rottweiler that I didn't really want in the first place. I'm trying to imagine if he kicked the bucket, me turning her back over to the rescue group after all these years telling them, "Well I never wanted this bitch to begin with." But you know what they say. People treat animals better than they do kids. Like adoptive mom Frances Hammels, who wins today's Joan Crawford Award.

Newsday brings this lurid tale of another ungrateful adoptee who scammed some bucks out of her former adoptive mom who gave her the boot at 12. She had been adopted at 8. And, brace yourself friends because there's a world of triggers coming in the next line. She got molested by her adoptive father. Guess what happens after that?

"Behavioral issues"

Poor Irene just wasn't good enough, so back to the state she goes. She's now facing 14 years as a ward of the state, right back where she began. It's all coming full circle for Irene. Adoptive mom lost $60,000. What did Irene loose?

I'm sorry, that was depressing. I'll give you something else to end on an up note. For those of us who always felt like stolen princesses, exiled from our rightful royal heritage, cheer up. We just might have been.

6 complaints from ingrates:

suz February 19, 2007 at 10:32 AM  

What bugs me about the newday article? Why was it necessary to point out she was adopted? Was that critical to the story? Were they trying to say all adoptees would do that? Did it really add something to the story to say she scammed her adoptive mother?

Interesting. I have family in Bayshore. My entire family is on the island except me. I bet they know her. LOL.

Yes, terrible on all counts.

Lizard February 19, 2007 at 1:00 PM  

My aparents tried to return me when I was about 7. They did not contact the agency, they contacted a lawyer who told them (in the letter I found after my afather's death) not to even try. lol

I was defective but physically healthy. All I did was try to kill myself at 5. I don't remember if anything happened later before I turned 7 that would have set them off. Prolly some awful buried memory - or maybe it was just because I would need braces and wore corrective shoes.

Anonymous,  February 19, 2007 at 4:30 PM  

It is chilling to hear of parents returning or wanting to return children.

Some less-than-sensitive in-laws said things to us like "you got really lucky with Nate. You never know what you'll get when you adopt." NEVER KNOW WHAT YOU'LL GET?! We're not talking about buying a dog here?!! Another instance where I had to refrain from ripping someone's head off and instead calmly said, "You know, you also never know 'what you'll get' when you have a child by birth. Either way, it's really a crap shoot."

OH. MY. WORD. Yeah. Those are the people who should not have had children period. Not by birth, not by adoption. I don't know how in the world they passed homestudies, but they must be good at putting one over on people. Sheesh!! "give them back"

OK, can you see that I'm a little riled up? SHEESH!!

Unknown February 19, 2007 at 10:22 PM  

People tend to think im a conspiracy cooke or somethin because i insist that adoption is modernized slavery. yet growing up in foster care and group homes, i cant even tell you how many were adoptees who were returned because they were too troublesome.
and they call us the crazy ones. anyone who tries to tell me adoption is wonderful, i tell them to give their head a shake. the fact that adoptees arent legally allowed to view their own histories and identities, the fact that adoptive parents return the "faulty" goods, the fact that some slaves, sorry adoptees get good homes, yeah this is a sick sick world we live in.

Ungrateful Little Bastard February 21, 2007 at 1:30 AM  

Suz it's that same tired old song. You're supposed to forget your adopted and you only have one family, until it becomes time to sell a few newspapers by screaming ADOPTED in bold font. I'm pretty close to Bayshore actually. Small world.

Julie that is horrible beyond all words. I just don't have the words enough to express how that makes me feel.

Judy I'm sorry I have to admit I love it when you get riled up. I just imagine you sputtering and cursing at the keyboard as you type ;) "never know what you'll get." oh god......

It's totally sick indeed Erika. And if you try to tell those stories to people, they try and gloss them over or make them some type of rare occurrance.

Anonymous,  February 21, 2007 at 8:53 AM  

Oh Theresa, it's OK. You're not the only one who gets some entertainment value from that. It's especially good when the arms start flailing around, although it does make it harder to type. And sputtering is exactly what I do. I lose all ability to form real words.

I seem to be extra-cranky this week so there may be more in store. Just letting you know so you can pop the popcorn and pull up your chair to the computer monitor for a show.

I hate February. And my own demons.

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