Thursday, March 22, 2007

A dream is a wish your heart makes, when you’re fast asleep

You know something; I just haven’t felt great since I had the flu in February. I’ve been dragging ever since. I don’t know if I’ve got something lingering here, or if it’s just my emotions coming out in my body because I’ve been putting adoption front and center for a while, instead of just compartmentalizing it. Maybe both, but I have the feeling it’s more of the latter.

Today I had the realization that everyone I work with, everyone who works for me, everyone I work for, takes sick days. Except me. I take sick hours. I was looking back over my hours logs and realized I don’t have any full sick days listed. I’ve got days that look like:

Hours worked: 6 Hours sick: 2
Hours worked: 4 Hours sick: 4.

Mostly I have days that look like this:

Hours worked: 8 Overtime hours: 3
Hours worked: 8 Overtime hours: 5
Hours worked: 8 Overtime hours: 2.5

I started work today, but was just so achy and malaisey I logged off and went straight to sleep. I think I’m going to take the day off tomorrow too. I can’t see anywhere back in my hours log where I’ve taken a full day sick day.

But anyway I had a great dream. I dreamt that I got this huge package from the county of all of the adoption records in 1963. I had gotten these two large ledgers. At first I was really annoyed that I needed to go through them both to find mine but then I realized that I had everyone’s records and that I could help all these 1963 folks too.

Then the scenes shifted and I was at someone’s backyard barbeque reading some adoption book. All of a sudden I had this huge feeling that the author was my mother. I started screaming at everyone that I had found her. Next scene I was on the phone with the author’s husband. He said she wasn’t my mother but there were three women at his house who could help me find her, if I wanted to come over there.

Then I was talking to three women who told me that we’d have to time travel but I could see her that way. I’d have to sneak into a prison as a kitchen worker to see her. All of the girls from 1963 needed to go to a prison to have their babies, but they could sneak me in as one of the cafeteria workers and I could see her when she was in prison.

The symbolism in my dreams is so obvious at times it’s downright embarrassing.

But then my cool husband came home from work and woke me up before I could get a chance to see her.

I’m going back to bed. I don’t feel good. I hope I dream again.

7 complaints from ingrates:

Anonymous,  March 22, 2007 at 11:42 PM  

OK, I'm tapping my foot waiting for the sequil! I should go to bed too. Maybe I will dream your mothers face for you. Wouldn't that be cool? I could be like the mom Now that was really lame. I definitely need to go to bed.

Possum March 23, 2007 at 12:24 AM  

Look after yourself Theresa.
And get all better-er really soon.
Poss. xxx

Anonymous,  March 23, 2007 at 1:56 AM  

Good God woman! Take a frickin sick day! Stop messing with the grading curve for the rest of us....


Andie D. March 23, 2007 at 9:56 AM  

I agree!

Take the sick day!

I'm going through a little of what you're going through too. Putting adoption in the forefront is not easy. But I've tried to compartmentalize, and it just doesn't work.

I need to face this thing head on. I'm more excited by it finally than nervewracked. For the most part. Hell, it's never simple.

That's why your dream makes sense.

suz March 23, 2007 at 10:56 AM  

All of the girls from 1963 needed to go to a prison to have their babies, but they could sneak me in as one of the cafeteria workers and I could see her when she was in prison.

wow. that visual punched me right in the gut.

do take some time. i do it alot. lol. i need to.

Doughnut March 23, 2007 at 6:00 PM  

I hope you are enjoying/recooping on your day off - that is if you took this Friday off Theresa. What a dream you had! Of course now you have to tell us all your dreams...well at least the end of this one if there is an end to it.

I hope you are feeling better soon, especially as the Spring weather engulfs us.

Ungrateful Little Bastard March 24, 2007 at 4:45 AM  

Hahahaahhaha Mia is... The Mom Whisperer. Coming to theater's this Mother's Day. This film is not yet rated.

Thank you Possum, Jamie, Andie, Suz and Lee. No sequel I'm sorry to say, but still a really messed up sleep schedule from middle of the night pages and then sleeping all day.

I'm sorry I punched you Suz.

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