Monday, March 12, 2007

Likely Suspect #7: Tom Jones

She’s a Lady was obviously yet another song written about my first mother. Remember Helen of Troy and that face that launched a thousand ships crap? Well my mom was such a hottie she launched hundreds of songs.

I think I was about 6 or 7 when She’s a Lady was a big hit. My mom and aunts all loved Tommy Boy. I figured he had to be my real dad because of the curly hair bit. And I liked She’s a Lady. It’s a catchy tune. But then I started to listen to the lyrics. And I decided that even though Tom was my real dad, he was a total douche.

I figured he wrote She’s a Lady and was so busy with his mountain that she helped him build out of a little pile of clay he didn’t even notice she had hit the road. What an ass this guy was. So self absorbed. Even little grade school me could see that. So she took off and put me up for adoption in fear of being stuck with an egomaniac like that creep she hooked up with. Shit, I would have gotten rid of me too. What the hell is with this guy anyway?

7 complaints from ingrates:

Anonymous,  March 12, 2007 at 11:55 PM  

What a pipe dream.... sheesh.

ULB temporarily ill hubby

Ungrateful Little Bastard March 13, 2007 at 12:23 AM  

Oh shut the hell up you real kid and take your antibioics. Tom Jones could so be my real dad. Nobody knocks my Likely Suspect fantasies, not even cool husbands.

L March 13, 2007 at 1:43 AM  

Tom Jones!!
hee hee
You're funny.

Unknown March 13, 2007 at 2:22 AM  

My natural father has a lot in common with Tom Jones too, He was the 'vanguard' of his generation, how do I know this? He told me.


I never thought about this being the reason I am adopted, hmmm.

Erin March 13, 2007 at 8:41 AM  

I couldn't get on board with Annette funinjello, but I can get on board with Tom Jones. Circa 1968 he was HOT.

Anonymous,  March 13, 2007 at 11:20 AM  

Oh crap. I wanted to put a pic of Daddy Nowadays here, but it's NOT ALLOWED. Boo hoo.

He has this whole web site, you see, but no mention of his bastard daughter. I guess that's a no-no for these aging stars. You could always threaten him with a "if you don't tell everyone, I WILL!!"

of course,

that horny toad.

Ungrateful Little Bastard March 13, 2007 at 6:34 PM  

A VANGUARD of his generation... wow. Yanno I actually googled that, I'm such an anti-vanguard, I didn't know what that meant LOL

Yeah Just Me, 1968 he was kicking it,,, but in 1974 when that video was filmed he was going downhill a little bit, still ok, but then......

JUDY had to post that link to what he looks like NOW ------ aaaaa!! Then again, if you put pictures of me at 21 and me now side by side... AAAAAA!

He won't admit to me Judy. He'd have to share with me all those royalities from the latest songs... all $1.73 of them.

And thanks Beth :)

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