Thursday, June 28, 2007

So what's next?

I’m starting to work through some tentative plans for the future. I don’t have anything firm. I’m just working things through at this point.

I’ve got some trigger dates that I’ve been playing around with. One is my birthday in October. Out of all the unknowns there are, the one thing I know, no matter if it’s good thoughts or bad thoughts, she’s thinking about me on my birthday. I’d actually venture to say every time her phone rings on October 12th she’s going to be thinking it’s me.

But then I think it might be too vulnerable of a day for her. So I scratch that off the list.

Another time is around Christmas. I think sometimes of sending her a card with a letter inside. She’s got such a huge extended family maybe she gets lots of Christmas cards, and mine wouldn’t be too conspicuous. But then I wonder if she’s like me. Oh my god you’re going to hate me when you read this, but I hate Christmas cards. I never send them. I think they are a monumental waste of time. Lots of times when I get cards, I don’t even open them. I know that’s horrific but I’m laughing as I’m writing this.

I just can’t think of a more meaningless activity on the face of the earth than sending out Christmas cards. So, what if she’s like me? What if she thinks Christmas cards are for the birds and just ignores them? What if she's is an asshole like me and just tosses them? Wow, that would suuuuuuck.

So right now I’m looking at August. I’ve got a week off then. I’ll have free time during the day.

August.

Maybe.

11 complaints from ingrates:

abebech June 28, 2007 at 6:54 PM  

Theresa, I keep thinking of you, and thinking "it hasn't been a month yet . . ." but as that approaches, I can't imagine waiting longer especially when I look at the dates on your timeline.
Hoping you hear from her very soon.

3rd generation adoption June 28, 2007 at 7:50 PM  

how about Independence Day - she'll be home - I located my mother on Independence day 20 years after relinquishment - I found her in Guam of all places - don't worry, they think of you every day...

Newlyorphaned June 29, 2007 at 8:00 AM  

I didn't pick a day I just knew when it was time. But do what's right for you.

Lillie June 29, 2007 at 2:02 PM  

I think August sounds like a lovely time of year.

Good luck, I'll be lighting candles and all that shit for you!

-Lillie

Ungrateful Little Bastard June 30, 2007 at 8:42 AM  

Thanks all. Unfortunately with the new job it needs to be a day when I'm not working. My goal is to try her on a weekday, hoping she'll be alone in the house.

Aurelia July 1, 2007 at 1:51 AM  

Definitely NOT Christmas, that's when I reunited and it sort of set us up for a disaster. Xmas builds expectations up to bizarre levels, in every aspect of life.

If you meet her next week or next month or 3 months from now, skip Xmas. In fact, skip all of December. The romance of "our first Christmas" can really eff things up long term...sigh...

Take care, I'll be reading.

elizabeth July 2, 2007 at 1:45 AM  

Thinking of you. Sending big hugs.

Kelly July 3, 2007 at 9:07 AM  

Thank you, for the comment. She does think of you everday. Sending hugs.

One Adoptee July 4, 2007 at 10:50 AM  

I like this blog. I hate Christmas cards too. If you are going to send one . . at least "write something" is my usual complaint to the tacky worthless cards that people sign just to "check it off their list!" Christmas cards do not make me feel warm and fuzzy, people, if you don't talk to me the rest of the year!!!

I'm glad to see you sent your b-mom a card. You and I have chatted on my space before.

Check out my new blog . . .
adoptionasanoption.blogspot.com

traciemaddever September 30, 2010 at 5:01 PM  

I know it is a bit different as i knew my mother, although i had no info on my father except his name,but I first met my bio-logical father at the beginning of july somewhere neutral, we spoke on the phone first (i initiated it) and i am glad i did it that way as otherwise it could have been too much too quickly. whatever you do though make sure that you emotionly ready for it as you need to be strong for your own sanity. good luck will continue to read

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