Saturday, August 04, 2007

Real kid reunion

My cool husband is off in Florida spending time with his brother and uncle and meeting some lost members of his family he found last month via

I'm alternately thrilled for him, insanely jealous of him, and imagining countless disaster scenarios that will leave me widowed and abandoned.

I couldn't go with him because I can't get the time off from work now. I had already scheduled time off for the end of the month, and anyway, my time off is when I have planned the phone call, unless I chickenshit backslide off.

He asked if I minded him going. Of course I said no (yes!!!), go ahead (no please don't!!), this is a great opportunity (how could you leave me now?), have a great time (and be prepared for the emotional pound of flesh you'll need to pay upon your return).

He called for the fifth time tonight worried because I sounded "off" on the phone (ha). I told him I was fine.

I'm such a liar.

I'm so jealous I can't stand it.

I was re-reading Journey of the Adopted Self tonight, and the chapter on The Painted Bird. For those of you who haven't read it (and you really need to buy it now, if so), the painted bird comes from the 1965 novel of the same name. In one section, a bird is taken from the wild by a cruel man. It is painted bright colors. Then, it is released off into the wild again when the man is bored. It flies excitedly and anxiously towards its own flock. The flock, not recognizing the bird, at first flies away, but it pursues them nevertheless. Eventually the flock turns on it, pecking and tearing the bird to death, not recognizing it as one of their own.

I'm so scared I can barely breathe.

16 complaints from ingrates:

half&half August 5, 2007 at 3:30 AM  

It's right next to my bed.

Anonymous,  August 5, 2007 at 5:08 PM  

Just keep telling yourself what won't kill me will make me stronger, over and over. And do nice things for yourself when you're not working. Be kind and gentle to Theresa.

elizabeth August 6, 2007 at 12:20 AM  

{{{Theresa}}} words are failing me.

Unknown August 6, 2007 at 1:27 AM  

yes, be kind and gentle to yourself.

and jealous, that's par for the course.

i cant think of anything worse then waiting.

angel August 6, 2007 at 1:43 AM  

Well, I don't know about you, but I quite like GREEN!! It's completely natural and understandable, that a little bit of jealousy would sneak in!

Sending lots of hugs, and mountains of courage... for THE PHONE CALL!

Very exciting times! xxx

Kelly August 6, 2007 at 12:23 PM  

You are in my thoughts.


Anonymous,  August 6, 2007 at 2:52 PM  

Oh, the painted bird story gives me shivers and makes my belly hurt...STOP READING THAT RIGHT NOW!!

Oh, gosh, THE CALL!! No wonder you can't breathe. Wishing you all good things no matter what happens. All good things!

Gershom Kaligawa August 6, 2007 at 10:44 PM  

oh theresa!! listen to mama2roo PUT THAT BOOK DOWN NOW!!! now dammit!! You're loved here!! I'd never peck you alive!! NEVER!!

Gershom Kaligawa August 8, 2007 at 3:28 AM  

T!! you've disappeared...where are you, i'm worried.

Anonymous,  August 8, 2007 at 10:42 AM  

Thinking of you T....hope it's just work keeping you away... we love ya. XOXOXO

Anonymous,  August 8, 2007 at 8:30 PM  

The trex and alien attack made me laugh my butt off. Take care dont work too hard.

Anonymous,  August 9, 2007 at 4:20 PM  

did you phone?

Anonymous,  August 10, 2007 at 4:20 PM  

Please don't read that book!

(love those pictures though - my imagination can run riot like that too - like the Dr Pepper "What's the worst that can happen?" stuff)

Ungrateful Little Bastard August 10, 2007 at 9:27 PM  

No, I read The Painted Bird a long time ago, but it's Betty Jean Lifton book I'm reading now, a lot.

And soon, very soon.

Third Mom August 11, 2007 at 9:17 PM  

Fingers crossed for you!!

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