Saturday, October 27, 2007

Video Updates

Muchas gracias again to all who rated, commented and faved the video produced by Honesty in Adoption. Current standings as of right now are 4792 hits and 133 comments. I'm so thrilled. Thank you!

In addition to the zillion and one adoption lists I subscribe to and don't have time to read, I also subscribe to and skim lists on DNA and genealogy. These always make me sad and I really should either stop reading them or find a way to deal with my bastard shame. It's incredible really, but I still have it no matter what I do. Adoptees in genealogy are like cellulite - both genetic and unwanted.

Playing with census lists and immigration records makes me feel like I'm indulging in some shameful secret online behavior, like I have no right to be there. And I feel that way on both sides too.

I like to trace my adoptive family because it's fun and interesting, and I like the idea that if anyone in that side ever gets interested in it, I can give them a ready made tree. But you know, these are not my ancestors, so I don't feel any great emotional tug when I get make a find. Just that succe-eess! and then I move on.

I like to trace my real family, because it's fun and interesting, and these are my ancestors. But after the succe-eess! I feel depressed. I don't have anyone in my family to share this with. And then I get scared that those in my family will find out I'm tracing and slap a restraining order on me. I know it's irrational. So is adoption.

There are those in genealogy who think adoptees shouldn't trace or do that newfangled DNA testing because of the shameful family secrets they could unearth. So far I've got the email addresses of 60 low resolution matches over at FamilyTreeDNA and I haven't emailed a one of them. Too scared. Even with 1000 years distance between our mutual ancestor I'm still convinced they'd scream "Bastard!" and put me on a block list.

Anyway via one of my genealogy lists came an announcement that DNAHeritage is offering a video contest. Make a video about your experience with DNA Testing and if they think it's the best, they'll give you three free tests. Two runners up will each get one free test. Pretty nifty.

I'd make one but it would just entail me staring angrily into the camera and defensively sputtering and stammering my right to be in Haplogroup V. Then I think even Velda wouldn't want me. 12,000 years ago she'd probably have left me exposed on a hillside at birth.

See what I mean? I just can't shake this crap.

I'm a-scared of real kids in genealogy so I avoid them and just lurk on their lists. I'm afraid if I ever made any post, they'd all gasp and point at their computer monitors in unison, making some odd sound like Donald Sutherland in Invasion of the Body Snatchers, unsubscribe me and report me to the Ministry of Legitimate Descendants who would take me away to an adoptee re-education camp where I'd emerge 6 months later as an employee of Holt International spouting how beautiful adoption is.

OK that was a weird brain drift but anyway...

Here would be a better video on my feelings about my DNA testing. I chose George Bush as my opponent in honor of the truly coughcough inspiring coughcough video that came across my Google Alert this morning.

But I don't think that's what they are looking for.

5 complaints from ingrates:

Mary October 27, 2007 at 3:53 PM  

I do a lot of genealogy too. I am careful about posting about my nmothers side as no one knows about me. I do chat in a genie chat room, and I am the renegade adoptee there. No one has had a problem with me being an adoptee, they actually seem to understand more than anyone the need to find roots. When I first found my nfam, I felt a need to explain why I didnt know any more of the history than I did (my nparents knew very little), but now I just say I am researching without explaining that I am the family

Anonymous,  October 29, 2007 at 8:54 AM  

I let it slip, on one of the larger geneology sites, that I was an adoptee and haven't received any responses since July. Just a coincidence, I'm sure...
Thanks for the video. That's the best laugh I've had in a month! Silly bastard, families are for real kids...

Mary October 29, 2007 at 3:37 PM  

I was pleasantly surprised one of my first times in the genealogy chat when an adoptee searching came in and they profided links to bastard nation among other sites. I did email with someone about our shared genealogy and revealed I was adopted, havent heard from her since but she has been the only one to react that way.

Ungrateful Little Bastard October 30, 2007 at 7:21 AM  

I'm still convinced I'm going to get a court order someday forcing me to take my private family tree off It's nuts.

Mary October 30, 2007 at 3:46 PM  

I have my trees at They are set to private and password protected. I keep nmom and ndad's trees I did leave off a lot of info on nmom's side, she would faint if she realized I knew all her siblings (both her half and full total 10 sibs) names and even their married names.

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