Friday, November 30, 2007

It's a Strange and Mournful day when

  • people refer to a painful loss in your life as beautiful

  • you contemplate the possibility of no one in your family wanting to get to know you

  • you run so hard to keep one step ahead of the pain, you're in a perpetual state of exhaustion

  • you think secretly, all real kids hate you, because they know if they were born at a different time, they could have been erased like you

  • trust is a dirty word

  • the current lead you're working on dad-wise is really nasty

  • you're me





I'm so glad this month is over. Not that it makes much of a difference, come December 1st I'm still a second class citizen, but I'm just so sick and tired of seeing the original purpose of this month take second fiddle to the zipadeedooda ain't adoption grand folks.

When you're on the losing end of adoption, every day is strange and mournful.

5 complaints from ingrates:

Erin November 30, 2007 at 6:15 PM  

(((Theresa)))

I'm sorry you are having a rough time of it :(

I wish it could have been/could be different for you.

And I'm sorry if those words sound hollow to you

Possum November 30, 2007 at 8:26 PM  

# people refer to a painful loss in your life as beautiful

(this really gives me the shits)

# you contemplate the possibility of no one in your family wanting to get to know you

(yeah - this is THE most painful bit of all)

# you run so hard to keep one step ahead of the pain, you're in a perpetual state of exhaustion

(yep - I'm so very tired of this crap - I really don't want to be adopted anymore)

# you think secretly, all real kids hate you, because they know if they were born at a different time, they could have been erased like you

(yeah)

((((((((((((((Theresa)))))))))))))

Just yeah.
Poss. xxx
(cry)

Laurel December 1, 2007 at 4:15 AM  

I'm 42, still running, and still convinced the other kids hate me. I don't know why I keep expecting it to end someday.

Ungrateful Little Bastard December 2, 2007 at 2:47 AM  

Thanks.

I wish it would end. Where's my Blue Fairy, to make me a real kid?

elizabeth December 2, 2007 at 6:15 PM  

{{{{{Theresa}}}} I'm sorry.

I hate #1. Hate it sooo much.

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