Tuesday, September 02, 2008

In dreams, I mess with you

Last night I dreamt I got the following letter from my mother:

But even then, she didn't put any pictures in the envelope.

12 complaints from ingrates:

Gershom Kaligawa September 2, 2008 at 2:53 PM  


You know, I still listen to the voicemail you left me in N.O. about the NY support and broadcast that happened.

Your mother has no idea what she's missing out on. If she did, she would have called...yesterday.

I'm so sorry.

Third Mom September 2, 2008 at 3:16 PM  

Oh, Theresa.

No words, just very sad feelings.

KristySearching September 2, 2008 at 4:38 PM  

I'm sorry...

I know exactly how it feels to have your the person you most want to know, not want to know you and it sucks. So many reunions are so uneven.


The Improper Adoptee September 2, 2008 at 5:41 PM  

What the hell is it with some of these Real Mothers? I wonder if she really is your real Mother Teresa, maybe the Agency lied to you. I wish you could find this woman and get a DNA test. It should be illegal to do this to your child. It's nothing less than child abuse.

jimm September 2, 2008 at 5:58 PM  

I'm afraid I have no words that would have meaning at a time like this, only cyberhugs.

I am so sorry. Like Gershom says, she has no idea what she's missing out on.

Being Me September 2, 2008 at 7:36 PM  

ONE of the things I love about you Teresa is your willingness to shock me with your vulnerability.

My stomach lurched a little reading that and still my heart opened up a little more.


Lori A September 2, 2008 at 8:39 PM  

I just don't understand how a woman could feel this way. I think it's her own guilt she can't get past. (((hugs)))

Lorraine Dusky September 2, 2008 at 8:46 PM  

Hi, I'm not an ingrate,I'm a first mom and it kills me there are women out there like yours...My dream was that I was with someone once who was going to call her real mother and we had a phone but there was always some reason we couldn't make the call, someone actually had a heart attack in my dream and then finally this adopted person was making the call...and the numbers were disappearing from the phone and we couldn't remember them, and we got HER on the phone and then we couldn't talk again because of some other emergency where we were and then SHE was gone and we didn't know how to reach her again.

I woke up, hot and bothered.

I know it's a buzz issue with legislators but as a first mom, I would like to see women who bore the children have access to the child's records...those of us who adopted long ago. Luckily I was able to connect with my daughter and had a relationship with her--sometimes up, sometimes she stopped talking to me--for more than a quarter of a century. For that I will be grateful until I draw my last breath.

I continue to love your blog. It rocks. !!

Anonymous,  September 2, 2008 at 9:51 PM  


I know. I know. *cry*

And it hurts like hell. and I'm sorry that you are hurting so much.

Possum September 3, 2008 at 2:44 AM  


Poss. xxxx

maybe September 3, 2008 at 1:46 PM  

I'm sorry she can't break free of her chains. So many of us banish ouselves to an island laden with guilt, shame, fear, and pain.

She continues to lose so much...

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