Saturday, September 06, 2008

We do not recommend that adoptees are shipped

This site tends to come up in my google alerts from time to time.

I always visit it when it does, and read it over bemusedly.

I think it takes a big heart to have so much love for hermit crabs. It makes me look back on my own childhood and the callous treatment of hermit crabs in my life.

Every summer, we'd make a family jaunt to Ocean City, MD, a/k/a going downyoshun. It was a very big deal. There was some type of trucking convention each year that my dad used to go to, so we'd make a family trip of it. Lots of relatives came too, and we'd get rooms at this incredibly wonderful fun funky beach motel. (On a whim, I googled it, and was beyond thrilled to see it's still in business). Once there, digging for hermit crabs became priority #1.

I have memories of sloshing buckets in the motel room containing sand, ocean water, and an array of hermit crabs. I also have vague memories of my adopted sister and I carefully holding said buckets on the long drive back to Philly, at least when my monstrous demon-child sister wasn't torturing me by putting her finger on my side of the back seat. Despite, I must add, our adoptive mother carefully stacking pillows between us to create a barricade.

But always, somewhere between the beginning of the ride and the time we pulled into the driveway, the hermit crabs mysteriously disappeared. OK not so mysteriously actually. The Sunday morning packing routine was the same each year:

Girls, now it's time to put the crabs back on the beach

Me: tears

Sister: tears

Girls we go through this every year

Me: But-but-but!

Sister: We LOVE our crabs!!

We have a long ride home and you will not want to hold those buckets the entire way

Me: Pleeeeeeaaaaassseeeeeee! (howls)


No and that's that.

Me: But this is my FA-FA-FA-FAVORITE crab (sobbing)

Sister: (incomprehensible demonic roars)

Do you promise you'll hold those buckets?


Sister: (still incomprehensible, but nodding)

Alright but this is the last time we're going through this.

It never was.

Being totally serious for a moment, I actually do feel really bad about any defenseless creature being dug up and then left unceremoniously at some highway rest area. Because that's just what happened. With a "Free crabbs!" (sic) sign drawn in crayon taped to the side of the bucket.

Maybe that's why I keep reading this site over and over again when some update triggers it into google alerts.

Or maybe it's just that one line. It always comes up that way in the email I get:

I don't either.

Although you can, for a fee.

5 complaints from ingrates:

The Improper Adoptee September 6, 2008 at 12:31 PM  
This comment has been removed by the author.
The Improper Adoptee September 6, 2008 at 12:47 PM  

"Sister: (incomprehensible demonic roars)"

LMAO, I have one of those too. I use to try to catch chameleons in Florida. I saw one change color once right in front of my eyes. I was in love with them. Years later I realized why I loved them so much. They reminded me of my pain inside of not knowing who I was and they were the only living being on earth that even indirectly let me acknowledge that pain. They also let me see that I wanted to change from an Adoptee to being with my real Mother and and that all the power adults had over me, telling me I could not know her made me feel so helpless and watching these adorable reptiles change so easily was a release for me, as I wished it would be that easy for me to find her. I know how you feel about the hermit crabs, I live near the beach and my daughter always wanted to bring them home but I said no. Being Adopted makes one value freedom more too for all living beings.

KristySearching September 6, 2008 at 11:14 PM  

I love those outfits. We are the same generation! My mom dressed me just like that!

Hugs Hermit Girl :)

Kristy (Vintage 1964)

(I was gonna say Hugs to ya Crabby girl, but then thought better of it! LOL)

Lori A September 8, 2008 at 11:38 AM  

Too funny, Thanks for the chuckle.

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