Wednesday, December 24, 2008

July 3, 1975

Are you:

-Adopted

-Female

-Born July 3, 1975 in Niskayuna, NY

-Registered with the New York Adoption Reunion Registry a while back
....

-And have since moved?



Your mother is looking for you.

Even though you made it clearly obvious that you'd like to be found, the state can not release your name to her, nor it appears will they do the minimal of searching to find your new address.

I bet you registered, and then spent the next few weeks with your eye on the mailbox and the phone, waiting to hear back. And then you never did. I know how it feels to find out no one is looking for you. When that would happen to me, I'd try and tell myself my mother probably didn't know about the registry. Maybe she didn't have internet access. Maybe someday I'd hear back.

But still, deep inside, it really hurts.

And you know, then I'd go on. For years I'd set aside my search and do nothing. Maybe on my birthday make a quick post, but then just leave it. Time went on, I moved, and I never updated my contact information at ISRR or the state registry. Just... life gets in the way. We're so busy, and it's just so humiliating knowing that some state worker can know who we are, but we can't.

Anyway, this isn't about me, it's about you. Your mother's name is Catherine , and getting to know you would make her Christmas complete. Please contact jleadley@timesunion.com, and even more important please come on over to www.NYAdoptees.com. Anyone searching in New York, please come on over. There's good people there; they'll get you home.

Finally, in her article Catherine asks:

I urge all who read this to share this story with all those who are adoptees.


I do too.



Mom has a very special grown-up wish for Christmas

By CATHERINE TERRY, Special to the Times Union
First published: Tuesday, December 23, 2008

Ever since July 7, 1975 I've hoped, wished and longed for the day when I would see my daughter again. I unwillingly signed the adoption papers that day only hours after being released from Bellevue Maternity Hospital in Niskayuna.

She was only 4 days old, innocent and very unaware of how drastically her life would be changed forever. I named her Catherine Elizabeth, but I feel sure that was also changed too.

At the adoption proceedings, I brought a letter I had composed to Catherine explaining why — at the age of 15 and jobless — I was unable to care for her.

Her 17-year-old father and I loved her very much and did not want things to be this way, but had no other options. I gave the letter to the judge to give to the adoptive parents for Catherine when they felt it was appropriate.

That was 33 1/2 years ago and the void in my heart has ceased to be filled, yet life goes on. Two years after giving her up, I moved with my family to Florida, graduated high school, married, had two more daughters.

Yet still, I longed to search for Catherine. My husband, who was not the birth father, didn't want me to contact Catherine and I honored his wishes. Another deep wound.

Earlier this year, I began actively searching for my daughter after the end of my 26-year marriage. I found that Catherine had been looking for me and registered with the New York state Department of Health adoptees registry, but she has not kept her contact information updated. They can't tell me anything about her without her final consent.

So, my Christmas wish is that she is reading this right now and will update her contact information tomorrow.

I urge all who read this to share this story with all those who are adoptees.

I hope and pray to give you the rest of the story soon.

Catherine Terry lives in Luthersville, Ga.

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