It won’t come as any surprise to regular readers that I am hooked on teh YouTube, especially when it comes to adoption videos.
I’ve got a few different automated bots running that alert me when a new adoption video gets posted. They work with varying degrees of success. For the most part, the majority of videos I find the old fashioned way – searching.
Wading through adoption related videos gets tiresome. Videos that get added to one of my playlists are few and far between. Mostly what comes up are:
Bizarro fan fictions – What the fuck?
Adoption Agency Promos - Boo
Mislabeled porn – I’m not kidding. I’m also not linking, go search for yourself. Pervert.
And sprinkled in there, are the actual videos that have actual people who were actually adopted. But very few of them are actual adults.
I’d guess that maybe 1 out of every 25 adoption videos get into my playlists. I’m being generous here. Because, as anyone who looks on YouTube knows, the overwhelming majority of adoption videos on YouTube are posted by adoptive parents.
Dear God Whom I Sort of Believe in This Week: Thank you for not allowing anyone to invent video and the internet during my era, so I don’t have to worry about 50+ videos of my private childhood online in the public domain forever. Thank you.
Here’s what gets me sometimes: when do you stop tagging your child with ‘adoption’?
The trips overseas to pick up: OK, I can see tagging that with adoption. I’d rather see it tagged with adoption than gotcha. Unfortunately gotcha usually is used in conjunction with these videos.
Homecoming: Yeah alright. Still adoption related, so the tag applies.
Gotcha Day Parties: Insert vomiting emoticon here. But still adoption, OK
But then there’s this other thing I’ve noticed with some of them. Every single aspect of an adopted child’s life is tagged with: adoption
Video of some child waiting for the school bus: adoption
Video of some child eating ice cream: adoption
Video of some child doing gymnastics: adoption
Some child opening Christmas presents: adoption
Same child, 4th of July picnic: adoption
Looking in a mirror: adoption
In the bathtub: adoption
On the potty: adoption
Horseback ride: adoption
At a restaurant: adoption
School play: adoption
Soccer game: adoption
Kindergarten graduation: adoption
Eating pizza: adoption
Eating tacos: adoption
If adoption is just another way to build a family, if someone loves their little adoptling just as much as a real kid, why tag them ‘adoption’ when the video has nothing to do with it? Would they tag a video of their real kid striking a home run at baseball with ‘vagina’?
Do they think ‘adoption’ every time they look at their child?
So I get irritated and angry, as I am wont to do, when I see adoption tagged on a video where adoption isn’t part of the subject. Deep down here’s why: because I do feel tagged for life. I do feel adoption is in the undercurrent of everything. Yeah adoption was there when I was waiting for the bus, because I couldn’t stand to be separated from my adoptive mom. And adoption was there during gymnastics class because I couldn’t do gymnastics to save my life, while everyone else in my adoptive family could. Adoption was there at holidays because I felt out of place with my relatives. Adoption was there when I was looking in a mirror, because the face in the mirror was the only thing that looked like me. Adoption was there during school plays because no one in my adoptive family was theatrical, but as I found out later, many in my natural family were. Ditto with the horseback riding. Ditto with the real estate investing.
Sometimes people post videos of their beautiful gardens. I’ve never had a garden. I kill flowers. I’ve got lots of bushes out front because bushes don’t need any care, other than the landscape guy coming to trim them every now and then. After seeing mom’s house, and her lack of flowers, while all of her neighbor’s porches looked like Martha Stewart lived there, I felt damn good.
My adoptive sister, who has beautiful gardens, did a drive-by when she was in Philly last summer. She called me from her car: “She’s got no flowers outside, and everyone else does”.
I gotta tell you – that was the best thing I ever heard in my life. I don’t think I’ve ever felt closer to mom than when I heard that. Word.
I think I’ll post a video of a flower pot that’s in my back yard. It’s got a dead plant in it. I meant to take care of it, but I just never got around to it.
I think I’ll tag it adoption.