In a scene near the end of "Wo Ai Ni Mommy," Jeff Sadowsky explains that Faith had recently asked him, "Why would you want a daughter from China?" His explanation: "Well, I've always been into things from China. I guess, from the martial arts -- I've always been -- I love China." Donna quickly steps in to course-correct: "I told her, 'I wanted a daughter, and you needed a family. We didn't see you as being Chinese, we saw you as a beautiful girl who wanted a family.'"
Thursday, August 26, 2010
Wednesday, August 25, 2010
I am working for the communication department of (retracted because I'm being nice) and I am currently opening an account on its behalf on Twitter. I found out that the name ULB was already taken and I allow myself to contact you just to check a few things with you. I would like to know what the name ULB means to you because I haven't seen any connections between this acronym and your name or your activities on adoptee rights. We would like very much to use this name as it stands for our (retracted because I'm being nice). Do you think it might be possible that you give it to us? I know it's quite a strange request but I'd rather ask, just in case it is possible. I thank you in advance for your concern and look forward to hearing from you.
ULB is a name I have used for a long time and is very much known in the adoption blogging community. While the Twitter feed may be sporadically updated now, it's my identity. No, you can't use it.
Seriously... asking an adoptee to give up their identity?
Tuesday, August 24, 2010
The Independent in the United Kingdom reports on the un-humanness of adoptees.
In "Adoption: How I lost my little sister", Michael Bywater shares a traumatic memory of witnessing what we already know too well: the discountability of adoptees.
In the article, he recounts a stunningly clueless exchange with writer and shrink Susie Orbach, who in one line pretty much says it all:
"I had another sister once," I said. "They sent her back."
For once, the studio – normally a civil sort of a bear-pit, everyone anxious to say their piece – fell silent.
"I was ... three and a half? Four? They adopted a baby. I remember her name. Beverley Henderson. 'This is your new sister,' they said. And then after a few weeks – I don't know how long in reality – she was gone. They sent her back. I never saw her again."
After the broadcast, walking to the lifts, Susie Orbach said: "You know what I said about coming to see me? Forget it. We've got to the bottom of it, on-air. No wonder. What a thing to do to a child."
"Send her back?" I said.
"No. She was probably fine. I mean to you. To give you the idea that it could happen to you, too. That you could be sent back. For no reason. Just ... sent back."
This falls into the adoptees are magic category. The same sort of magic that tells pregnant women in childbirthing classes how important it is not to separate from their newborns after birth, but that it's A-OK to do it to us.
I do think it was a traumatic thing that Michael Bywater witnessed. I have no doubt it probably terrified the shit out of him in ways he can't even articulate. But worse still is the underlining message - adoptees, unlike really kids, do not deserve the same compassion and consideration as the real.
Saturday, August 21, 2010
Via @jaeran on Twitter
Financial advice and frugal tips so you too can pay CASH for your next Healthy White Infant! (Product code: HWI)
Friday, August 20, 2010
Just go watch, seriously.
Wednesday, August 18, 2010
Please take a moment to visit Real Kid / Bastard Spawn Extraordinaire, Nathaniel Christopher.
I first ran across Nathaniel years ago on YouTube, when he posted a video response to one of Kali's vlogs about his own horrible treatment trying to get his deceased father's adoption records.
Over the past three years, Nathaniel has posted a series of vlogs on his legal battles between Alabama and Georgia. Even though Nathan's father was born in an equal access state, he was adopted in Georgia, resulting in a complicated back-and-forth red tape, fork-over-the-money journey between the two jurisdictions.
September, 2007 Nathan in Alabama
December, 2008 Georgia: Let me have my father's damn adoption records, now!
July, 2010 Adoption records unsealed after nearly 70 years!
Genealogy is a popular hobby. For the nonadopted. Genealogy is seen as a fun pastime. For the nonadopted. In fact, Genealogy is soooo popular that over 1 million real kids worldwide are forking over anywhere from $13 to $30 per month at Ancestry.com to stay up way too late stalking dead people.
But when we want to do it, it's seen as pathological.
Unfortunately that same bias is passed on to our kids too through the magic of adoption. They should feel content to trace their adoptive family tree, and not wonder about their own family history. Some children of adoptees are saddled with the same conflicting loyalties we are between their adoptive grandparents and their own curiosity or need for truth.
But some real kids just won't shut the fuck up, earning them the esteemed title of Bastard Spawn in the League of Adoptee Superfriends.
Congratulations Nathaniel, and thank you for being so ungrateful.
Monday, August 16, 2010
Via Pennsylvania Adoptee Rights News Blog. Please repost freely.
Monday is "Contact Chairman Oliver Day" for Adoptee Rights
Call/email/mail Pennsylvania House of Representatives Health and Human Services, Chairman Oliver, on Monday please! This is of vital importance that everyone who can contact him does.
Why? We need HB 1978 to get a hearing in the Pennsylvania House of Representatives Health and Human Services Committee. HB 1978 is a 100% clean access bill. If it becomes law, as-is, it will streamline Vital Services in PA. Adult Adoptees will be able to walk into Vital Statistics just like everyone else and get their Original Birth Certificate with no restrictions.
Your email/call/letter shouldn't take more than a two sentences. Tell him you support HB 1978 and tell him to give it a hearing!
Hon. Frank Louis Oliver (Chairman)
34E East Wing
PO Box 202195
Harrisburg, PA 17120-2195
Phone: (717) 787-3480
Fax: (717) 783-0684
Do you live in Philadelphia County? YOU are HIS constituent. Let him know that!
Read the bill
check us out at http://www.adopteerightspa.org/
Saturday, August 14, 2010
As Chief Grand Free Web Services Thingy Finder Person for the Adoptee Rights Demonstration (I used to be just Chief Free Web Services Thingy Finder Person but I gave myself a title upgrade this year), part of my volunteer duties involves finding free web services thingies. For the protest, you know, in case you couldn't tell.
Last year for Philly, we wanted to put together a slideshow promo, and came up with the DENIED video that was easier than stealing identities from children. The idea behind the DENIED video was to get people to put forth the faces of normal, every day adults who through no self-selected behavior on their part, are denied equal treatment under law. The DENIED stamp was ugly and scaring, yet effective.
Let’s look back!
After the video, some mothers wanted their faces stamped too, something that could be used to show both solidarity as well as make a statement against something that was imposed on them without their consent. Some ideas were batted around. My personal favorite, the digital erasing of mother’s faces, was voted out in favor of a stamp that followed the same theme - simply stamping CONFIDENTIAL.
Over the past two protests I’ve stamped face
While the actual act of stamping is quite easy, the emotional effect isn’t as straight forward.
Obscuring someone’s image with a glaring red stamp can be draining when done mindfully of the great malice aforethought.
Because is it not malice, pure malicious maliciousness in all it’s glory, to impose confidentiality on someone without their permission, desire or consent, and then use that same person to justify and blame sealed records on? What could be more malicious than telling another adult human being that they are not entitled to their own identity, rationalize their identity theft by the possible reproductive choices of future women, willfully and while all the time making quite the profit?
If that’s not malice, I don’t know what the fuck is.
Don’t ever doubt that the sealed and stolen identities of the DENIED, or the unwanted CONFIDENTIALITY inflicted on American mothers, is nothing less than a graphic act of political violence.
The audacity, arrogance and presumptuousness of those who oppose restoring access and then turn and hide behind the skirts of the same women they profited off of when they were paid a legal fee to seal their children’s identities is mind-boggling.
Frankly, it makes me quite cranky.
I’m actually writing this blog post halfway through the stamping of a mother I adore, and obscuring her face made me break down and cry. The adoptee images make me angry, but the ones from the mothers eat at me. Especially when they send me pictures of themselves before they got pregnant. I see young women about to be exploited and used by a system run by those with full knowledge of what they were about to do to them.
It’s a long road to the San Antonio protest, and the wrapping up of Louisville will take weeks if not months. While the administrivia takes place in the background, internet memes like the DENIED photos keep the protest alive in the ever-brief attention span of the web.
Take a peek or two or three at the DENIED album over on Facebook, and if you’d like your photo included please send a picture to AdopteeRightsCoalition@gmail.com.
Also, while doing an export from the old fan page to the new one, some images got lost. If your photo isn’t included, just give a yell. As my solemnly sworn responsibility to do free web services thingies, I’d never deny you the chance to be DENIED.
Friday, August 13, 2010
I'm burdened with writer's block recently.
I've tried a number of times to write a post asking you to please consider two adoptee film projects, but I just can't get the words out.
Thankfully, the National Council for Adoption came to my rescue, with a fundraising letter template that is very easy to use. After all friends, the NCFA is no stranger to knowing how to raise the big bucks.
So here goes:
Dear Friend of Adoptees,
At ULB, I believe equal access to original birth certificates is everyone's birthright, yet there are those who actually oppose adoptees and and try to shame us for our belief in equality. In fact, the anti-adoptee industry is frantically fund-raising overtime to counter our mission to end discrimination.
What can you do to stop this negativity and anti-adoptee bias?
You can make an urgent gift right now of any amount to support adoptees trying to promote the truth through film-making. Adoptees are frequently the subject of films, yet our voices continue to remain unheard. Please support these adoptee filmmakers help spread the truth.
You can STOP the discrimination and anti-adoptee efforts: DONATE NOW to help support adoptee voices in film-making.
With sincere thanks for your support,
Ungrateful Little Bastard,
Legend in my Own Mind
If the attempts of the NCFA to raise more money have pissed you off, don't get mad, get donating!
Two projects that could use your support:
All My Life... Adoptee Rights and Civil Liberties
What if our government kept a sealed record on your identity? Birth records are public information to most of the population, but to a few like myself, are sealed because we are adopted. Currently, I have no legal right to my original birth record, unlike every other person in New York State.
All My Life… “A Working Title” is a documentary that focuses on my own efforts to discover who my biological parents are. Nine years of endless searching has brought me nothing. I have spent thousands of dollars on private investigators, posted up and down the internet, and even approached strangers, all in an effort to find my biological family.
My whole history is contained in a manila folder, thirteen barely legible pages contain everything I know about my parents. When I was a child I would pour over those documents trying to get a picture or a feeling of what I am or who they were. I, like other adoptees, have always felt like something was missing. A piece of me is gone.
This documentary will focus on the stories of adoptees and the efforts to unseal records for all adult adoptees. It will also highlight a portion of our society that people know very little about. The end goal for this film is to raise awareness, update the public health laws and finally help me discover who I am.
All My Life… is the first feature written and directed by Jason Darnieder, and produced by Flower City Media.
Sponsor 'For the Life of Me' on Public Television
OPPORTUNITY! You can become a sponsor of For the Life of Me and support its broadcast on public television this fall!
We are trying to raise $6,800 for station placement, outreach, tracking, close captioning and an HD version for broadcast. You'll be listed on the website as one of our premiere sponsors - but more importantly, you'll be supporting the broadcast of the film to help educate communities about why adoption reform is so critical.
You can either pay online (at this link), or you can send a check to:
Jean Strauss/Silver Tandem Productions
2300 Glenna Goodacre Blvd. #4325
Lubbock, TX 79401
Tuesday, August 10, 2010
Give not that which is holy unto the dogs, neither cast ye your pearls before swine, lest they trample them under their feet, and turn again and rend you.
Funny... they removed my bible verse from the RSVP page.
I think the Lord just isn't in their hearts.
Ad Maiorem Dei Gloriam, bitches.
*that is a total lie, it was totally apropos of something, but I'll tell it in Penance (again wiki-linked, for you non-Catholic school heretics)
Monday, August 09, 2010
I will never get to writing about the Louisville Adoptee Rights Demonstration, but that's cool because so many other people already have.
A picture speaks a thousand words though, so this is what I have:
Partners, families and friends
Anti Adoption Love Adoption
And everything in between.
For one week, just focused on one thing.
Saturday, August 07, 2010
Reposting via PA Adoptee Rights News Blog. Please repost freely. And please help.
Thursday, August 05, 2010
Reposting via AdopteeRights.net
Here’s our slideshow!
Please visit YouTube to view the video at:
The same old request applies!
1.) Give it a thumbs up
2.) Save it to your favorites
3.) Leave a comment
Monday, August 02, 2010
Adoptees Fight for Access to Original Birth Certificates
Monday, August 02, 2010
There are between six and eight million adopted people in the U.S., and the vast majority of them will never have access to their original birth certificates. All information on their birth parents is sealed. For decades, several advocacy groups have been trying to change this, claiming that humans have a right to own their own histories.
Today, original birth certificates are widely or entirely available to adult adoptees in nine states (including in Kansas and Alaska, where they were never sealed). In about a dozen other states, some adoptees can get access to their birth certificates if they were born before a certain date. Additionally, lawmakers in at least eleven states are currently considering the issue.
But there are opponents from groups as diverse as the ACLU, New Jersey Board Association, New Jersey Right to Life, and Catholic Charities who are fighting to keep original birth certificates sealed. Among their arguments: that opening records would violate the privacy of birth mothers; and that without anonymous adoption available, more women will choose to have abortions.
Tom Snyder chairs the family law section of the New Jersey State Bar Association. Over the past several years, he's testified before the New Jersey Senate subcommittees and Assembly subcommittees, lobbying against the New Jersey Adoptee Rights Bill, which would open records sealed decades ago.
Diane Crossfield is an adult adoptee from Kentucky who's been trying to access her original birth certificate for over twelve years. She's also one of the of the founders of the Adoptee Rights Coalition, which fights on behalf of adoptees, birth mothers, and adoptive parents who believe that original birth certificate records should not be sealed.
We talk with both of them about the impacts opening original birth certificates records could have on adoptees and those who are touched by adoption.
Please visit and leave a comment. 6:49AM is an ungodly time to be up and on the radio.