Sunday, July 29, 2007

Please go here and click on the "Report Abuse" link

So this gets taken off as soon as possible. Hopefully the more abuse notifications it gets the quicker it will get taken down.

Post# A367

Posted on: Tuesday, 24 July, 2007 05:36
Updated On: Sunday, 29 July, 2007 19:29
Expires On: Friday, 07 September, 2007 05:36
Location: new york, united states

Reply to: (Use contact form below)
Hi, i am looking for a christian home to re-locate my baby.
She is not from an orphanage, just that her mum died in a fatal motor accident when she was 6months old and since then i have been the mum and dad to her.Due to the nature of my job i decided to give her to a pre-mother who can take care of her like her own daughter.So please if there is any one out there who can be of help should contact me.
And can someone please tell me what the hell a pre-mother is? This could be a joke or a scam, but in any case, it's just nasty.


Friday, July 27, 2007

How has lack of medical information effected YOU?

Doctors have always been pretty alarmed when it comes to my medical history. Yet oddly, there does not seem to be a great deal of support in the medical community when it comes to the medical history of adoptees.

My first experience was at 18 when a bleeding disorder was diagnosed during routine testing for an operation. The doctor was horrified to find out I had no medical history.

When my son was born, he was born with a birth defect of one of his lymph nodes. The doctors stated it was a genetic disorder. No one in his father’s side of the family has anything remotely similar, so it must have come from my side of the family. But I had to tell the doctors that I knew nothing.

I’ve endured early mammograms, and an early colonoscopy because I have no familiar history of either disease. People who aren’t adopted don’t realize that there are millions of us in similar situations. They will say, “Oh, medical history should be made available at the time of adoption”, but they don’t realize it isn’t. Also, that does nothing for the millions of adult adoptees whose adoptions are in the past. As another point, the medical history of a young woman surrendering her child has very little to do with what medical situations may come decades in the future.

Many states have confidential medical history registries, but these are not publicized and are difficult to find. If you don’t know such a registry exists, how will you register for it?

The U.S. Surgeon General has Family History Initiative. But unfortunately the Americans this does not apply to are adopted Americans. Adult adoptees pay taxes the same way nonadopted Americans do, but our civil rights continue to be violated by state governments and outdated laws that treat us as perpetual children.

My dear friend AdopteeWarrior is taking the time to publish a series of Public Service Announcements on YouTube regarding this and other important issues facing adoptees. Could you please take a moment to visit her latest video, and leave a text or video comment on your own experiences with medical history?

Not just adoptees! Adoption effects so many people -

Natural parents - have you been diagnosed with a medical condition and been unable to get this information to the child you surrendered?

Adoptive parents - how has your child's lack of full and updated medical history effected you? How much do you trust what your agency provided you?

Spouses of adoptees - do you have children, or are you planning on having children? How concerned are you regarding your own child's lack of medical history?

Siblings of adoptees - What medical conditions have members of your family experienced that you have been unable to share with your adopted sibling?

Please share your story at YouTube!

Comments are off for this post - your voice needs to be heard at YouTube. Comments or video replies deeply appreciated! And please spread the word! Thank you so much.

For more information, please see Death by Adoption


Thursday, July 26, 2007

ANOTHER Facebook reunion!!

Check it out - yet another Facebook reunion! I just can't get excited enough when these things happen. The scoop is over at Erika's blog so rush on over there to read how Jennifer McLaren found her mom!

I'm going to have to start keeping score on these. So far I think it's a dead tie - Myspace / Facebook with 2 reunions I know of on each. All the more reason for people who are searching to get themselves profiles at these sites. Wow, I wish these were around when I first started searching.


Tuesday, July 24, 2007

Going Home: Identities of the Modern Age

I hate business trips. And business seminars. And all day business meetings. And business in general. I'm not overly fond of working nowadays. It just takes up too much valuable internet time. I wish to be independently wealthy so I can spend my entire day surfing around and finding incredible adoption movies and websites.

Like this one.

Going Home: Identities of the Modern Age

In the summer of 2007, five students will travel to South Korea to document a life changing venture. Going Home: Identities of the Modern Age will be a vehicle for exploration of the story of one transracial adoptee, his lifestyle and his journey to discover his birth parents. This endeavor is in affiliation with Emerson College as an entirely student-run Bachelor of Fine Arts Project.

Oooooooooooooo I can't wait. It won't be out until after December. But in the interim you want to:

Check out their website

Be their friend on myspace

Read Jason's blog

And watch their videos. Here's the first:

Enjoy! Room service is on it's way. That is the one good thing about business trips.


Monday, July 23, 2007

Wanda Starke's Reunion

Beautiful WXII 12 News Team Reporter Wanda Starke documents meeting her mother again after a stalled 25 year reunion. Wanda didn't find out she was adopted until she was in the 5th grade. She met her mother first at 18 and had a visit in her early twenties. They lost contact over the years until her natural sister called her twenty-five years later.....

Direct link:


Sunday, July 22, 2007

Our Very Own YouTube Star!!!

OK it's too chilly for the beach right now so I'm surfing a bit until it gets warmer... but I wanted to get this link up right away because I'm sooooooooooo excited!

Gershom is making a series of adoption related questions for the CNN YouTube debate. Check out this beautiful, amazing, wonderful, tireless bastard YouTube megastar!!


Saturday, July 21, 2007

When Searchers Attack

A while back, Mia did a fantastic post on newbie searchers and the oh-so-familiar things they say.

Over the past few months I’ve come across a prequel to newbie passive searchers – the matchers. Those of you who have been in the game of helping people for a while probably have already come across this person yourself. I recognize them immediately, because I spent many years as a matcher.

A matcher isn’t searching -- yet. They are looking for a match. They’ll post questions on mailing lists or forums or social networking sites with the details of their missing mother or child or sibling in the hopes someone will know this person and point them in the right direction.

In many years online, I have yet to see that happen. What does happen -- the search community being as bighearted as we are -- the person will immediately get bombarded with help and advice. Go register at ISRR. Go register at the registry. Go register at the state mutual consent registry. File a waiver of confidentiality. Petition the court for your non-id. Read these books. Join a support group.

Nine times out of ten, this sends the newbie screaming off into the ether, only to resurface a few years later. It’s overwhelming, it really is. Search brings up so many emotions, many of which you can’t even recognize after years of being told what a loving choice adoption is. How great adoption is. How magic adoption is. You have this ball of feeling in your chest that you can’t describe, all you know is, you’re looking for your family.

God how sad. God how familiar.

I was there. I joined over at the PAFind list, posted my tentative F ADOPTEE ISO BIRTHMOTHER (gag). I’d get told what I needed to do. And like most matchers, disappear. Screw this. I just want to find my momma. A year or so later I’d rejoin, repost, be remembered and be asked, Did you register? Did you petition? Did you file?

*poof* I was gone. Only to come back a while later. Lather, rinse, repeat.

It took me a long time before I made that jump from a matcher just to a passive searcher. Even passive searching is scary. Actually, to tell the truth, I think passive searching is emotionally harder than active searching. At least with active searching, you know what you’re up against. You know the score. But passive searching is so rarely successful, it’s just asking for rejection. Screw this. No one wants to find me. I’m outta here. Oh and by the way, adoption rocks! Adoption rules! I love being adopted! MY ADOPTIVE PARENTS ARE MY ONLY REAL PARENTS!!


Yep, nine times out of ten. But then there’s matcher #10 – the really pissed off one. Now, you know, agony and me, we’re pretty good company, searching for our island in the boat upon the sea and all that, but matcher #10 is fucking terrifying.

Matcher #10 will email or message looking for help. They’ll be told what to do. Then the reply comes as one, some or all of the following

Can you look for me?

I’m not very good with computers

I have a hard time getting to the post office

I can’t afford stamps

So you hold their hand a little bit. You break it down step by step. You start small. Go register at ISRR, you tell them, and email me back once that’s done. No, I’m sorry; I can’t fill out and mail the form for you. I honestly can’t due to the possibility of fraud. You can do this.

Thanks for nothing. I thought you were all about helping people. Fuck you, bitch.

Dingdingdingdingding, we’ve got Matcher #10 in the hizzouse.

I had a Matcher #10 a while back. It was right after I had found my mother so I was in an especially vulnerable place. I’d be lying if I said it didn’t upset me, but even more it made me retreat for a bit from the newbie search arena.

This actually makes me sad, because I adore newbie searchers. I really do. I know they are in pain and I know if they make those first huge steps into passive searching and beyond they are in for a whirlwind of emotional turmoil the likes of which cannot be described unless you’ve lived it – but I also know it’s that first step towards healing. If you can start to search, you can start to heal, and vice versa. You can expose yourself to people and resources and books and support systems that will be there for you and encourage you and cry for you and root for you and have your back no matter what.

This was all prompted by a really nice message I got the other day from a newbie. Who had some really sweet things to say and had noticed I had kind of dropped off the radar from where I used to hang a while back. I miss it, I do.

People will still email or message me and I’ll point them where they need to go, but right now I just can’t put myself out there big time. One thing about adoption healing, after a while you start to learn when you need to retreat a bit. The Wait is a time to be selfish for a while. Right now, it’s time for me to keep my halo on the shelf while I do a little heavy duty healing myself. I’ll still help people if they come to me, but my adoption search volunteer stand is closed for the summer. I just need to blog and post about cool and not so cool stuff on the web, and hang with those wiser than myself and chill at the beach while I get ready.

I’m on vacation in August. I think I’m going to make my phone call then. I don’t have space for any potential Matcher #10’s in my life right now. Right now, it's summer in paradise, and I'm heading for the ocean. Have a good weekend.

Robert Moses Beach, photo by Newsday


Friday, July 20, 2007

Scritch my Itch

Otherwise know as

How to make thousands off human misery!

Yes, you too can tap into the endless suffering caused by adoption, and pay off that second mortgage. In only a few steps you'll learn what keyword combination to bring in thousands of clicks per day off selling babies!

Remember what the man says in this video, this is a hot, throbbing market and you want to SWALLOW IT WHOLE. You want to take it all in. No gagging now, go ahead, open wide and relax. In no time at all, that payload of traffic will be coming your way!

Yes, the trick is keyword combinations. But he left off a few. Because I want you to be successful, I'll add them here for you:

pain adoption
agony adoption
depression adoption
corrupt adoption
how do you look at yourself in the mirror adoption
can you sleep at night adoption
oh and by the way shithead adoption
international is spelled I-N-T-E-R-N-A-T-I-O-N-A-L adoption
moron adoption


Call for art from The Mothers Project

The Mothers Project

Subject: artwork wanted

Dear Mothers of Adoption Loss,

I have decided to add a segment to The Mothers Project that is all artwork by mothers of adoption loss. You don't have to be a "known" artist -- just send me a jpg -- or several -- of your work related to your experience as a mom whose infant was taken for adoption. If that is not possible, please send color photographs.

What is "artwork"? Well, paintings, drawings, sculpture, crafts, etc -- whatever you can photograph or scan and send to me -- even a few words on a canvas or however you choose to translate your experience into art. I will select pieces and add them to the show. I will take your jpgs and put them into PowerPoint and show them at conferences, retreats, workshops and gatherings in homes.

Please add your comments in an accompanying email ... what is the name of your piece and what does it represent, etc. Be sure to add your full name or first name, if you wish and where you live. I will make sure there is a copyright notice with your name on your piece. The notice will read like this: (name of piece) ©2007 (your name). Also, please give me permission, in your email, to show your artwork.

Send the jpg and the email to: cbsongs@aolcom. Or, mail the photographs to the address below.

Please share this email with your groups across the internet! I want artwork from all generations and from around the world.

Celeste Billhartz
P.O. Box 602
Kent OH 44240

The Mothers Project - Celeste Billhartz
powerful images, readings and songs


Thursday, July 19, 2007

Voompeople and Zabasearch

A number of people I know have had good luck using a combination of public records search sites to gather contact information on their missing relatives.

Most sites offer both free searches as well as paid searches. My opinion is, don’t pay for an account anywhere unless you’ve checked around to see if anyone else has a paid membership. On every single search mailing list I’ve ever belonged to, there are numerous search angels who have paid memberships to various sites, and would be more than willing to run a premium level search for you.

Which site to use is pretty much a personal choice; each one has their pros and cons. One will pull information that others might not have a license to use, but all of them are gathering basic data from the same places.

My personal combo has always been using Voompeople and Zabasearch in combination with each other. Voompeople is a pay site, but it will give you some information for free. Using the information you’ve gotten from Voompeople and plugging that into Zabasearch can often times get you a phone number and mailing address. Other people I know have turned to Intellius, which has the added feature of a maiden name search as well. The results on a maiden name search aren't free, but at a minimum for free it will let you know the city and state the person lives in currently.

Voompeople’s Possible Relatives column can be a good tool too. I’ve found in a few searches using relatives and then backtracking on other social networking sites has come up with a match. Although I do have to admit I wasn’t prepared for the fourth name down on this Possible Relative list as an official public record.

One thing to be aware of on Zabasearch is the ZabaAlert feature. You can set up a ZabaAlert to get an email whenever someone is looking for you. So in the off chance your family member has set up a ZabaAlert to be notified if someone is looking for them, the email they receive gives the date and time of the search as well as the city and state based off the IP address of the searcher. If you use Zabasearch and you’re paranoid, you may want to do that one through a temporary proxy.

Update 1/26/2008 - Voompeople apparently has been purchased by another company that does not provide as much information. I'm now suggesting instead of Voompeople.


Tuesday, July 17, 2007

Facebook reunites mother and long-lost son

Snagged this story off AFC. I'm updating this post to correct my faux pas of not giving credit where credit is due!

Social networking scores again!!

Linda Nguyen
Vancouver Sun

Lori Haas, 37, of Vancouver has spent every day since July 3 with her son Travis Sheppard, 20. Sheppard had moved to Vancouver four months ago from Winnipeg in hopes of finding his mother. She found him through a search on Facebook.
CREDIT: Handout
Lori Haas, 37, of Vancouver has spent every day since July 3 with her son Travis Sheppard, 20. Sheppard had moved to Vancouver four months ago from Winnipeg in hopes of finding his mother. She found him through a search on Facebook.

Lori Haas never thought the journey to find the baby boy she gave up in a closed adoption 20 years ago would end on Facebook.

The closed adoption meant all the relevant documents were sealed, and Haas spent a decade waiting to get her son's name through an active registry, where the names of birth parents and adopted children are revealed at both of their requests.

When she got the name but no other identifying information, the 37-year-old nurse tried Google searches to see if anything would come up. It wasn't until June 24 that a friend suggested she try typing her son's name into the popular social networking website.

"I thought, Let me put his name in and see if anything comes up,'" said Haas, a Richmond resident who had been a Facebook member for less than a month. What she got was a list of Facebook members with the same name as her son. "There were probably about a dozen names, but when I saw one of the tiny pictures, my heart went crazy."

She showed her older sister and friends the small photo, three by two centimetres. Haas knew deep down it was her son. He had her smile, her eyes. But it took her a week until she overcame uncertainty and messaged him on Facebook.

"I wrote to him that I was looking for someone I might be related to and asked him if this was his date of birth and full name," she said. "Twenty-five hours later, he messaged me back confirming it was him. I freaked out."

Haas said that when she became pregnant at 17, she never told her parents, friends, or the child's father that she was carrying a baby until after she gave birth a few weeks before her high school graduation.

"Just knowing that I was very young, I knew that I couldn't take very good care of him," she said. "His father and I had just broken up after being together for a few months. It was very high-school-drama and such a traumatic time for me." She went off to Langara College and dropped out after a year.

Looking back, Haas said her attempts to get away from her hometown of Richmond, including moves to Toronto and Texas, were all the result of not being able to deal with what she had done.

"I thought I could continue with my life as normal. I was naive. I couldn't focus on anything. I couldn't move forward. My life had been halted," she said.

But life went on. She eventually married and had two more children. Her son, 11, and daughter, 9, grew up knowing that they had an older brother out there somewhere. Little did they know, their older brother Travis Sheppard was also dreaming of some day finding his birth family.

Four months ago, Sheppard packed up his life in Winnipeg and came to Vancouver to track down the mother he knew only from adoption papers.

"All I had about her were two or three paragraphs when she was 17 about her goals and ambitions, that was it. All I knew was that she wanted to be a sports therapist and that she wore glasses," said the 20-year-old, who works for a collection agency.

Sheppard grew up in Victoria before his adopted parents moved the family to Winnipeg. His adopted parents told him "as young as I could remember" that he was adopted and were supportive of his journey out to B.C.

It was fate that Sheppard met Haas on Facebook at all, considering that he had planned on deleting his account. He said that when he clicked on Haas's profile after she sent him her message, he started to shake.

"I just knew she was my mom," he said. "I was so shocked and overwhelmed that I had to send her photo to all my friends just to make sure I wasn't getting too excited, to make sure I wasn't seeing things."

Since meeting in person in a Commercial Drive restaurant on July 3, the two have grown close, visiting Vancouver landmarks together. They resemble each other so much, they're commonly mistaken for siblings.

Sheppard has also met his birth father, Paul Baker, 39, and his maternal grandparents. He hadn't expected the reunion to be so complete.

"When I came out here, I didn't want to get my hopes up just in case my mom didn't want to meet me," Sheppard said. "I heard the horror stories before, but it's been everything I dreamed of."

According to the Adoptive Association Families of B.C. website, there were 280 children adopted in the province last year. One adoption expert says people using Internet tools like Facebook to search for children given up for adoption should be cautious, since they don't know what state of mind the children are in.

"On one hand, the child might have no interest, and on the other hand the child might've been thinking about this reunion for a decade," said Doug Chalke of the Sunrise Family Services Society. Chalke, executive director of the Vancouver-based licensed adoption agency, said parents should be ready to handle high emotions.

"You should be ready for rejection, disappointment and to involve adoption counsellors to assist in paving the way for what is going to be really traumatic," he said.

Chalke said parents who give children up for adoption these days usually want to stay in touch, making closed adoptions a thing of the past. "Things are definitely changing in B.C. with more and more open adoptions from the start," he said. "The old secret days are pretty much gone."


Monday, July 16, 2007

Search and Privacy Part 2 -

Also known as taking the easy way out.

I was working on a follow up to the prior post and getting ready to detail proxies and throw-away phone numbers, when this post popped up in my reader.

So why should I struggle when a far better writer has already covered it?

As far as proxies, Mashable recommends Proxify and and Kaxy, which are both good. Another good site of rotating current web based proxies is at as well.


Search and Privacy

Privacy and search run counter to each other. It’s a tough line to walk.

On one hand, you want to be found, and that requires putting a fair bit about yourself online. On the other hand – you’re putting a fair bit about yourself online.

There are definitely pros and cons to both.

On the pro side, look at the recent story on Tommy Devine’s blog about his adopted brother. Tommy’s brother put it all out there on the web, including the full name of his natural mother, which is what led Tommy to find him in the first place by curiously googling his mom’s name one day.

On the con side, just look at the horror Possum endured when some nosy parker asshole took it upon herself to call Possum’s mom apropos of nothing and send her reeling. This story has always frightened me twelve ways to tomorrow.

There are a few very interesting search sites that are newly released that I’d like to blog about, but I thought I’d do a quick post on the nature of search and privacy first.

In a nutshell really, I think internet privacy is an oxymoron. If someone wants to know who you are badly enough, they’ll find it. But, nevertheless, there are a few things you could do.

I think for starters the searcher email is a must. I’m pretty taken aback by the number of people who email me from work email addresses. Seriously they don’t know me from adam and they’re taking a pretty big leap of faith sending me an email from

For me when it comes to searching, I’ve got two email accounts. The first one started a long time ago out of necessity. I’ve done a turnover on yahoo email accounts for years. I’d sign up for one, when it eventually turned into a spam free-for-all I’d abandon it and open a new one. Because I’d been in search for a while, I decided to create the email account I use here just for search mailing lists to keep thing straight and keep my adoption stuff away from my normal stuff. Also, I wanted something a little more anonymous.

The problem now is, this email address is associated with the identity I’ve created for myself. In a way, my 'secret' searcher identity is pretty much out there and in your face. More than a few of the new sites I’ve been playing with require registration, and I’m not that comfortable with having my search traced back to this blog or some of my profiles.

Also you should be aware that the newer generations of spiders that are indexing social networking sites are pulling email accounts and any associated first and last names with them.

So, I’d suggest if you’re doing any major searching, especially if you’ve got names to work with, do it from email and social networking accounts that you never associate with a forum, mailing list, blog or other site. Also I’d recommend not associating a real name, date of birth or location with it, as well as not using it for any type of correspondence. Use it as a registration only account. There are more than a few sites out there that let people know when someone has looked at their profile.

I’ve got the adoptee me on Myspace, and classmates, and other sites, but I’ve also got the fake me for when I’m searching for family.

And yeah, don’t think the absurdity of a post on protecting your own privacy while cyber stalking family has escaped me. Of course it’s absurd. It’s adoption.


Sunday, July 15, 2007

RegDay is on MySpace!

Please add them to your friend list

Which reminds me.... is ANYONE in the northeast planning on hosting a regday event?? Right now the closest one I know of is in Rochester, NY, but that's just too far for me to attend.

Seriously. Anyone? Philly? Boston? NJ? Connecticut? Rhode Island? Long Island? I'm honestly too swamped with work right now to be a site coordinator but I really want to help.


Oh PS I know those 'Read More' links are annoying. Sorry. I've been working on a few days trying to fix them but so far I'm too much of a n00b to get it right.


Wednesday, July 11, 2007


I’m taking a lunch break from an amazingly boring class on managing virtual teams. I’m at a section on avoiding daydreaming in virtual team members and laughing my butt off, because all I’ve been doing in this class is virtually daydreaming.

My cool husband lost his wallet last week and has been slowly replacing his identity. He said when he was standing in line at the DMV to replace his driver’s license, he was daydreaming about how he’d go about getting a second identity; a different name, a different social security number, the whole nine yards. He was wondering how hard it would be to live another person’s life.


Ah real kids, and the quaintness of their daydreams.

I told him he was talking to an expert in living the life of another person. I’ve been doing it since I was five days old. I think I’ve got the hang of it.

The answer is, it is extremely difficult to live another person’s life. But it is very easy to go crazy trying.

My second identity is on my official Pennsylvania birth certificate. The name on my birth certificate is not my name. It’s the name of the first ghost baby my purpose was to replace. The ghost babies that haunted my childhood home. Not ooOOOooo up and down the hallway with rattling chains type ghosts, but the ghosts of the real children my adoptive mom wanted. Not fake kids like me, but her own kids. Perfect babies who looked like her and would never break her heart by asking questions she couldn’t answer. Little children of her own that she could share her love with, but never have to worry about them sharing their love between two mothers. She could love as many as she wanted, but they would only love one mother, because they only had one mother.

“I was going to have six children,” she would always say.

My job was to assume the identity of those six.

So the state of Pennsylvania locked away my real identity, and declared me a fictitious orphan in their kangaroo Orphan’s Court. And at five days, I assumed the identity of my adoptive parent’s daughter.

I’ve been living this unauthentic fake life for almost 44 years. It’s freaking exhausting.

It makes me think again of adoption order, which is something I daydream about a lot. I wish to hell someone would do a research study on it some day.

If the role and identity of the first adoptee is to replace the children the adoptive parents could not have, does the same burden fall onto the second adoptee as well? Or have there been enough disappointments and upsets that reality (or a reasonable facsimile thereof) sets in?

Do the number of years between adoptions make it better? If the second adoptee is purchased before the first reaches a comprehension of adoption, does the second also suffer the effects of living the life of a ghost child that couldn’t be?

Is another purpose of the first adoptee to stand as a buffer and guidepost for the second? A buffer in that the disappointments fall on her (my) shoulders, and a guidepost for the second as far as what things to say and not to say?

I don’t know.

All I know is my lunch break is over. Got to get back to training.


Monday, July 09, 2007


Quick post here because I need to run. It was an exhausting weekend, physically and emotionally. I'm pretty sure I lost 5 pounds in tears alone on the drive home. I got in very late last night to a disaster of a house, so I'm pissed to say the least.

My new position officially starts today, like, in 10 minutes. I hate starting new positions and learning new accounts. That three or four week period where I feel like the dumbest person on the face of the earth is never pleasant.

Got a very exciting real kid story to share with you. Yeah, it's another cliffhanger blogger. I was hoping he'd have the whole story written by now but it's such a long story, he's doing them on a weekly basis. The blog is Tommy Devine's Online Journal and it's the story of finding his brother who was adopted.

Part 1: Just Like TV

Part 2: The Mystery Grows

You'll have to wait until Saturday to get part 3, but I'm sure after reading the above two you'll be as impatient and anxious as I am for him to get the rest posted.

By the way, from what I've been able to read briefly, there has been some incredibly bizarre happenings in forum and blog world over the past few days. I'm pretty outraged by what I've been reading. Outraged, but not surprised. What kind of a subhuman troll do you really need to be, to make money off the misery of others?

Gotta run, the new job starts - NOW.


Thursday, July 05, 2007

College? So soon?

Alright I'm going to be away for a few days, and not sure how much laptop time I'll have.

We've got two pretty big events this weekend. I've got to get my stepson to the airport early. He's flying off to Dallas. He's actually got two events in Dallas this month. I don't understand how all of this works, but these two are pretty important to him. The final result is if his team does well at these two, they will be getting a contract that will pay them an outrageous sum of money in the five figure range.

I'm just going to let that sink in for a minute. An 18 year old will be paid more than some people make in a year for playing video games. OK it's not really for playing the games. It's some advertiser who will be paying the team to wear their logos somewhere on their shirts on TV.

I'd just like to take this time to put it out there that if there are any advertisers who would like me to put their logo on this blog, go ahead and speak up. Don't be shy, really. I'll play spider solitaire on TV for you.

But the even bigger event is the start of college for my son. He's going to a college that is year round so they get their degrees sooner. We're heading to MA to pick up some of his stuff he left there, then move in day is Saturday.

My little boy is starting college. I'm not doing very well with this. I'm already checking the calendar and Amtrak schedules to get him back here for labor day weekend. I'm having separation anxiety twelve ways to tomorrow.

My little boy moves into the dorm on Saturday morning.

I'm a wreck.


Wednesday, July 04, 2007

Some thoughts on dads

I took a nap today and had a really nice dream about my adoptive dad. He died 15 years ago and it still feels like yesterday. Do you ever have those dreams of someone who died, and they show up in your dreams and you're so happy to see them? I love those dreams.

In my dream I wanted to show off my house renovations to my dad. I wanted him to see how successful I was, and he was really happy for me with everything I had accomplished. It was a great dream.

I spent the majority of my teen years being angry with my dad. I was mad at him for moving us from Philly to Chicago. I was also mad at him for being gone all the time away at work or on business trips. It wasn't until I got older that I realized he was trapped in the cycle of all professionals. You work hard; you get a promotion. You get a promotion; you need to work harder. Then you work harder, and get another promotion. The cycle repeats. Being the sole breadwinner in the family he had a heavy financial load to carry, and was trapped by his profession and his success and his responsibilities.

My dad saved me and backed me up and got me out of more messes than I can even begin to tell you. I'm glad that by the time I got about 19 I was able to see how trapped he was, and for the last 10 years of his life we were able to have a good relationship. I miss him so much.

I always got the feeling from him that he was never too keen on the whole adoption thing. I know he adored my mother and I think if it had just been the two of them, he would have been OK with that. He was every one's favorite uncle, and I think he would have been content with that. I think he went along with the adoption bit to make my mom happy.

I'm no fan of adoption, but I am a fan of my adoptive dad. My dad worked with a lot of corrupt people in his line of business, but he always was honest. He was so honest, in fact, that one of his last jobs was as a government appointed trustee over some funds that were rife with corruption.

Corruption was something that he just couldn't comprehend. I think if he had been made aware or educated himself on the amount of corruption present in adoptions of my time, it would have broken his heart. I can't imagine how he would have reacted if he had learned that my adoption was a lie.

I wonder about the adoptive parents of Evelyn Bennett. I wonder how anyone could claim ownership of a baby who clearly has a mom and grandparents who are fighting for her. And I wonder about the adoptive parents of Baby Joseph too. Please take a moment to look at the Babyselling page and at Joshua's Myspace page if you haven't already. This is all so sad.


Back from the dead

Here's another good one to add to your searcher toolbox.

Resurrect Pages is a extremely cool plug-in for Firefox, which you really should be using instead of Internet Explorer. The 45% of my blog visitors who are still using Internet Explorer, I'm talking to you.

Anyway, if you're actively searching you're most likely spending a lot of time surfing around. The ULB Law of Searchers states that the 1 Google result you need will, 9 times out of 10, be a dead link. That's where Resurrect Pages comes in. Instead of manually having to search though old archives, this plug in will let you select which archive you want to search right from the dead result itself.

Very, very cool utility.


Tuesday, July 03, 2007

Blown away

Yanno.... there are readers, and then there are writers. I fall into the reader category myself. Everyday I read something that just blows me away in the blogs I read, both old and new. When I read something that really resonates with me, I fall in love just a little.

Here's another new one. This came across my google alert today, and that first sentence knocked my socks off

Adoption itself is the family secret, the scandal which goes unspoken

It just got me. So did this:

Adoption is about the politics of identity, and in many cases it is also about the imposition of the moral norms of society upon innocents still untainted by language.

I don't know about you, but I think I'm in love.


Memorable Moments in Bastardry

Just think though, your life was so much better, with all the money, and having two parents, than if you had been brought up by a single mother.

By that reasoning, my life would have been even better still if I had been adopted by a Rockefeller or a DuPont, because they had even more money.

Make your own at


I'm a Fan of Adoptee Rights

I Digg Adoption News

All adoption news

Adoption news RSS feed

Don't like feeds or widgets? Rather read the news in a blog format? Here you go.

Who I'm Stalking

  © Blogger templates The Professional Template by 2008

Back to TOP